Email Nick and Drew

The Pillsbury Dough boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was only 71.

Dough boy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the
California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.

The grave site was piled high with flours, as long-time friend Aunt Jemima
delivered the eulogy, describing Dough boy as a man who never knew how
much he was kneaded.

Dough boy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with
turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his
dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, as a
crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

Toward the end it was thought that he would rise again.

Dough boy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough
and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his
elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.